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Pororo the Little Penguin Live
(After a Christmassy version of the G-man title on a snowy backdrop with jingle bells being heard in the background, we cut to the G-man at his desk in his room wearing a Santa hat) G-man: Hello, everyone! I am the G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that. And Merry Christmas! We’ve had a great first year here on the G-man Wiki, so let’s take a look at something good like we did when we first began! Today we’re reviewing Pororo the Little Penguin Live! (The Pororo theme song starts as clips of the live show begin to play) G-man (V.O): Pororo the Little Penguin is a Korean computer-animated television series created by Iconix Entertainment with the North Korean company Samchŏlli in Kaesŏng. The series revolves around the adventures of Pororo and his friends who live in the snowy village of Porong Porong Forest, who often encounter challenges and learn practical and moral lessons in each episode. But like I said before: We’re not taking a look at the show itself, we’re looking at the live Christmas show! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Keep in mind, I don’t know that much about Pororo, so I’m just going what I know on the Wikipedia page. So without further ado, here’s Pororo the Little Penguin Live! (Cut to the opening scene with a woman (Amy) up on the stage with 3 kids) G-man (V.O): So after this picture of a kid standing in front of a promotional poster, we see one of the hosts talking with some kids. Amy: …As long as we can. Ready? Pororooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (Cut back to the G-man looking confused) G-man: What the heck was that? (Cut back to the play) G-man (V.O): We aren’t given any context as to why she did that, so for all we know, she could be doing an impression of the most awkward crowd reaction ever! (Cut to a sketch of the G-man dressed as a gang member) G-man: Yo! Yo mama’s so fat, that she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit! Amy (V.O): Pororooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (During and after she’s done, the G-man looks around confused) G-man: What in the hell was that?! (Cut back to the play) G-man (V.O): So after three minutes of this, we get to the main act. (The male and female hosts come out of a big red door singing Walking in a Winter Wonderland) G-man (V.O): These are our hosts. Their names are Amy and Brad. There here for no reason, so let’s move on! (The hosts open the doors again and reveal the five main characters) So we’re introduced to Pororo and his friends: Petty, who IS NOT Pororo’s sister, Eddy, the smart one, Crong, the guy who only says his own damn name, and… What’s the polar bear’s name? Brad: Poby! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Wait, wait, wait… There is a character in Pororo the Little Penguin named… (The G-man points up as a sound clip plays) Audio: Kobe! G-man: …Alright then. (Cut back to the play) Pororo: Okay, everyone, it’s time to go and collect your favorite Christmas decorations, and hang it on the town tree! G-man (V.O): So it’s time to decorate the tree and everyone has their own decorations! And for your amusement, we’ll be taking a look at each and every single one. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Got a problem with that? Yes? Too bad, let’s go! (Cut back to the play) Brad: Okay, everyone, it’s time for our first extra-special decoration! Amy: Please welcome back; Eddy! (Stacy opens the doors to reveal Eddy with some holly) Eddy: Hello, everyone! (Cut back to the G-man snickering) G-man: Pfft! Hey, what does the fox say? (Cut back to the play) Brad: What have you got there Eddy? Eddy: Well, this here I brought with me. An iconic piece of Christmas foliage. Ilex Aquifolium! (Cut back to the G-man looking confused) G-man (In a French accent): Pardon? (Cut back to the play) Eddy: Holly! Amy and Brad: Oh! Eddy: "Ilex Aquifolium" is the scientific name for "Holly"! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Yeah, because any little kid watching this show is going to remember that! (Cut back to the play) Brad: Well, why don’t we find a place on the tree for it? (He takes the holly from Eddy’s hands and they both walk over to the tree) How about here? (He places it on the tree) Great! Our first special decoration! Amy: I know a perfect song to go with this special decoration: Deck the Halls! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Yeah, how about no? Let’s just skip it. Yes, I know I’m being lazy, but do you really want half of this review to be songs? I think not. So let’s just skip to the end! (Cut back to the play after Deck the Halls) Amy: Well done, everyone! That was some wonderful singing! Brad: And the Ilex Aquifolium sure looks great! G-man (V.O): So next up is… (Poby speaks from behind the host’s backs. Startling them) Poby: How about… A snowflake? G-man (V.O): Damn! The way he entered is kind of rude if you think about it. (The scene plays again, only this time the audio is replaced with Christian Bale ranting) Christian Bale (V.O): Then why the (Censored) are you walking right through? Ah-da-da-da-dah, like this in the background. What the (Censored) is it with you? (Cut back to the play with the original audio) Brad: Look, everyone, its Poby! Let’s say “Hi, Poby”! G-man (V.O with his voice cloned multiple times) Hi, Kobe! Amy: Gee, Poby, that’s a beautiful looking snowflake! Poby: Why, thank you! Us polar bears sure do love the snow! That’s why our fur is all white! (Cut back to the G-man dialing a random number on his phone. He puts it up to his ear before he notices the camera) G-man: Oh, sorry, I’m calling bullshit. (Cut back to the play) Brad: Well, why don’t we find a place on the tree for it? How about right here? Amy: Hey, everybody, I wonder if you can all dance like a snowflake. (Cut back to the G-man with Tattletail on his desk) G-man: I don’t know about me. Tattletail? (Tattletail wobbles around which surprises the G-man) Damn! He’s got the moves like Jagger! (Cut to after the song number) Brad: Let’s give Poby a big round of applause! (Cut back to G-man applauding) G-man: Woo! Yeah! Kobe Bryant! (Cut back to the play) G-man (V.O): So after Kobe’s done, we get… (Petty appears) Amy and Brad: Hi, Petty! G-man (V.O): Okay, I swear they said “Hi, Penny”! Amy and Brad: Hi, Petty! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: And now they made me use this clip: (Cut to a clip from the Big Bang Theory where Sheldon is knocking on Penny’s apartment door) Sheldon: (Knocking) Penny? (Knocking) Penny? (Knocking) Penny? (Cut back to the play) Petty: Hello, everybody! Look what I have! It’s a snowman! (Cut back to the G-man with his hands buried in his face) G-man: I swear, if anyone starts singing let it go… (Cut back to the play) Stacy: What a beautiful decoration, Petty! Brad: I just love to build snowmen at Christmas time! G-man (V.O): So after they hang it on the tree, it’s time for another song! This time, it’s Frosty the Snowman! But, we’ll skip that too. (Cut to the end of the song. Crong appears) Crong: Crong! Crong! Crong! Amy and Brad: Crong! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Uh… I don’t like the way this guy’s looking at me (Cut back to the play briefly) It’s a little… (Cut back to the G-man) …Creepy. (Cut back to the play) Brad: Hi, Crong! Amy: How’re you doing, Crong? Crong: Crong, Crong! Amy: Look what Crong has brought! Brad: Jingle bells? Amy: Now, I wonder why they’re your favourite. Is it because they make a whole bunch of noise? Crong: Crong, Crong, Crong! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Oh, so he’s the reverse Grinch! (Cut back to the play) Amy: Hey, everybody! I wonder if you can shake your jingle bells high up in the sky just like Crong. G-man (V.O): I’m not shaking my “Jingle bells” in front of you, lady! What the hell is wrong with you? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Anyway, the next song is Jingle Bell Rock… (Pinkie Pie appears from the left side of the G-man) Pinkie: You should probably skip it. G-man: Actually, I want to see how this is played out. (Cut back to the play. Jingle Bell Rock begins) Amy and Brad: Jingle… Crong: Crong! Amy and Brad: Jingle… Crong: Crong! Amy and Brad: Jingle all the way! Crong: Crong, Crong, Crong! (Cut back to the G-man and Pinkie) Pinkie: Still want to skip it? G-man: Wish granted. (Cut back to the play. Jingle Bell Rock ends) Amy: …That means there’s only one decoration left. Brad: I wonder who it is. Amy: I’m not sure, Brad. Who could it be? Brad (To audience): Do you know, everyone? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Really? Did you seriously forget your own cast members? Isn’t that like a pizza delivery man forgetting who ordered what halfway to their damn house? (Cut back to the Play. Pororo appears with a sleigh in his hands) Pororo: Hi, everyone! Merry Christmas! Amy and Brad: Hi Pororo! Brad: Is that a sleigh? Pororo: This is not your everyday sleigh, this is a super-speedy sleigh! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Trust me, it was better than the time I went skiing! (Cut to a first-person view of a skier skiing, and then falling down the hill) G-man (V.O): Alright, this isn’t so- Whoa! (The audio of Bobby McFerrin falling down stairs from Family Guy plays as the skier falls down the hill until he finally stops) Ow… (Cut back to the play) Brad: Now all our decorations are hung! Amy, Brad, and Pororo: Hooray! Amy: And I think it’s time that we all go for super-speedy sleigh ride! (They begin to sing Sleigh Bells as we cut back to the G-man) G-man: Yeah, we’ll skip this one, too… So, there’s at least ten minutes left, how are we going to spend it? (Cut back to the play. Brad puts the star on top of the tree and everyone begins singing Oh Christmas Tree. Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Wow, it looks like their begging be to skip through this shit! (Cut back to the play after Oh Christmas Tree) Eddy: It sure looks swell! Petty: It’s the best tree we’ve ever had! Poby: It’s beautiful! Crong: Crong, Crong! Pororo: Well done, everyone! Amy: There’s really nothing I’d love better than gathering around the Christmas tree with all my friends and family at Christmas time! Brad: That’s right, Amy! It really is a special time of year to celebrate! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: So after that, they sing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, do the Can-Can for some reason, and the play ends. All-in-all, this was pretty good for a show I’ve never seen! Maybe I should look at it sometime… Well, I am the G-man, that’s all you need to know about that, and Merry Christmas from everyone on the G-man Wiki! I’ll see you all in 2018! Peace! (And with that, the G-man gets up and leaves his room through his bedroom door. But after a few seconds, he pokes his head back in) G-man: By the way, I know it’s Poby. I was making a joke! Category:Episode